I am discussing this to my friend the other day. There are adoptees that are publicly said that they are adopted even though the parents will tell that they are happy to have the adoptee as their child. Personally, I grew up with my step dad, and everytime we’re outside or in an event, when people ask, panganay mo, he will always tell, “Di, step daughter ko lang.”

When adopting, we are giving a home, a home that is supposedly much more ideal than the old home, and a home is a mean of providing acceptance and belongingness. Somehow, in our culture, we got so many “marites” and sometimes, these nossy people are from our family members. Comments like, “e ampon e kaya iba ang ugali.” that is already decepting the child’s feeling of being accepted by the family.

Adoption is not just about readying your ownself or your own family, it is about everyone in the whole clan to be ready to make the environment more nourishing, loving, accepting, and caring for the child.

The whole process, and the whole experience with the stigma of being “ampon e” can lead to a more deeper psychological traumas.