“Do not call me Mommy!”

Iris Palma in Ang Pinoy Stories

Oct 22, 2019 • 3 min Read

Manay. Bossing. Nanay. Tsip. Ate. Kuya. Boss. Sir. Maam. Tita. Tito. Mommy. Filipinos have a respectful name for everyone pero tama ba ang pagkakatawag natin? Okay lang ba na tawagin si Tita Tess na Lola Tess kasi feeling ng tricycle driver ay matanda na si Tess? Would calling her Ate be acceptable?

In a viral post in 2018, veteran actress Cherie Gil blurted out: Never call me, Tita! She covered Tita so allow me to cover Lola, Mommy, and the rest. The following are funny and true stories.

LOLA. This 50 year old lady embraced her uban about three years ago. She had her hair shaved to a ‘tres’ by a legit barber. Bagong buhay, she declared. Her shaved head became a talking piece and she was glad to share how she did it and why. Courageous lady. All the glory of her uban appeared after two months, sparkling white, and so platinum. She was proud and confident of her uban, except the many times when young and younger people call her a senior or a lola. Then she goes savage and feral: Hindi pa ako senior! She appreciates the few times though that she is allowed to go ahead to the front of the queue because of her platinum hair. She smiles and graciously says “thank you.” May pakinabang din.

MOMMY. One lady admits to being annoyed when called “mommy” by fellow mommies and by young people she did not carry in her womb. This is very common in schools where everyone tries to call everyone else the same way—mommy this and mommy that. Just like Cherie, she prefers to be called mommy by her kids only.  It irritates her to be called mommy by older parents. Her thoughts to fellow mommies? “Call me by my first name. Halos magkasing-edad lang tayo. Mas matanda ka pa nga sa akin.”

DADDY. Imagine bringing your husband Andrew to school during a parents meeting and all the mommies call your husband Daddy Andrew. At home, you call your husband exactly that with love, respect, and lust. Tapos other mommies call him like that as well? Sino ang hindi maiinis? Raise your hand so I can unfriend you.

BOSS, MA’AM, SIR. Filipinos are very respectful in all the wrong places. Calling your superiors outside of the office as boss, ma’am, or sir is technically telling everyone that you are inferior to one person’s professional status—just unfair. My American boss a few years back scolded me for calling him sir. He said: Call me by my first name. “Sir” was used by Americans one century ago to subjugate you Filipinos. I went on to work with a British manager and I called him by his first name. In the Philippines, a professor told me to call her “Miss” and suggested that she would tell my Filipino boss that I was arrogant for not calling her so. Aiyoh.

In Singapore, many are offended being called uncle or auntie. Cherie Gil verbalized that dislike in 2018. What do we do with these “terms of respect” then?

Be extra careful in calling people you are meeting for the first time. Huwag maging familiar agad. It is advisable to ask these simple and honest questions: How do I call you? How do I address you? How do you prefer to be called? Or “May I call you (insert term here)?” How we address each other sa office depends sa management and owners. If they are westernized enough, first names will do. Otherwise, sir-ma’am pa rin tayo. And we need a law to convert this slave culture sa buong Pilipinas. I think I need to email Senator Pacquaio. Will he take this issue up kaya?