KUNG AKO IKAW: Mga Payo ni Manày

Iris Palma in Tips and Advices

Oct 28, 2020 • 1 min Read

The Blame Game | Sino ang maysala?

You are unsure of his fidelity and you blame his friend. You failed in an English quiz and you blame your seatmate (tinakpan ang papel kasi).  You failed the interview and did not get the job you wanted and you blame God for everything. Familiar, right?

We always find someone to blame when something bad or untoward happens. It’s what we do. We are human after all.

“Kung hindi dahil sa ginawa mo, hindi mangyayari ito!” “Bakit, Lord??”

And then we go on a litany of someone’s supposed wrongdoing or inaction and the effect on our poor existence. We become the victim and involve everyone in. This is our defense mode kicking in and, sadly, we go on the attack mode. Our own shortcomings, failures, insecurity, and whatever negative feelings we may have are then broadcasted as someone else’s fault. And trouble comes in. Now look what happens.

Kabayan…stop!

We are alive and shit can happen. Try to learn from it. Avoid playing the playing the blame game. The misery is compounded when we pull everyone in to the hiccup that just happened in our lives.

Stop blaming someone. Start living.

Manày is the quintessential contemporary Tita with a heart of gold, a conscience of a nun (should that be ‘none?’), the drive of a teenager, and the language of one who has lived long enough to see both sides of the coin. Her words may hurt you, but they are expressed for your own good. Tough love and kindness are difficult to balance. So go ahead. Ask at your own risk.