Usap Tayo: Have that Courageous Conversation
Iris Palma in Tips and Advices
Oct 17, 2019 • 2 min Read
Some issues hang like a sword over your head. They weigh you down. You talk about it with other friends and colleagues but not with the one person you have an issue with. You want to start talking about it pero di mo alam.
You need to have a courageous conversation with that friend or family member or colleague then. It is time to speak up and express what you feel. A courageous conversation will resolve a relational conflict. But how does one do it?
Lifehack’s Kathryn Sandford offers these tips:
- Deal with your fears. Fear keeps you from being courageous. Be strong enough to start the conversation. Pray if you must. Or run around the block to shake off the debilitating fear.
- Deal with your ego. Focus on being true, not being right. You are having this conversation to resolve a conflict, and not to show the other person that you are right.
- Find the reason why you need a conversation with, say, Flora. What is your objective? What do you hope to achieve or rescue?
- Face your discomfort. Yes, there will be twirling of toes and fingers. You will mumble and stutter, and perhaps feel defensive. Relax.
- Expectations. It will not be all rosy after the talk. Expect the worst to happen
- Set the tone. Your facial expression, your first sentence, your tone will have to be neutral and not demeaning. They spell success or failure.
A courageous conversation is not a blaming exercise. It is a tool to rescue or mend a failing relationship. You care about the other person and what you have built over time. You feel that a conversation where both of you can speak out and express what bothers you—and perhaps what bothered the other person—will save the connection.
Should things not go positively, remember to “keep your content clear, stay calm, keep your tone neutral, and check your ego.” Go and start that courageous conversation.
